You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She announced her abortion via fbk
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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