I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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