What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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