i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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