I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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