I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize