It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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