Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
