I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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