the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Someone signed my nipple.
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