I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
