He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize