Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
