And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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