do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
