Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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