Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the condom got lost in my hair
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
