don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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