All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
