My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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