What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
