Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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