I think i sorta joined a cult last night
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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