I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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