Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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