Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
