Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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