there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
