just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
