bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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