In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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