Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
from now on my penis is your penis
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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