You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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