I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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