I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
