how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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