I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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