booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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