Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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