420 ftw
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He kissed a someone with a penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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