Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Someone came in the potted fern
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
