the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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