I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize