either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nicole vs. Life
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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