Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize