its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
