So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
