Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Farmville is her only friend.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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