before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
