I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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