One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
