dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
