my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize