i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize