You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
