he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
