Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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