Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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