i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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