I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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