I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
