Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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