Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
is that a dick in a sweater?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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